Bad Apples

Yesterday, I came across a video on a page that I had ‘liked’ on Facebook. In all honesty, I didn’t watch the video, I just read the comments, and let me just tell you…they were not pretty. The video, in a nutshell, was about New York’s Stop and Frisk law but it made all police officers out to be racist douche bags. 

Now lIsten, I fully admit that there are some terribly rotten police officers out there. There are even departments as a whole that are corrupt. But I will not for one second discount all cops as “pigs” (which is what they were commonly referred to as on this video and in the comments section below it) just because there are a few bad apples. 

My husband has been told countless times by victims and even perps that he is fair and just. He treats everyone with respect so long as he is treated with respect. He is kind and courteous and believes that everyone should be treated equally. Now that’s not to say that if someone goes for a weapon or another individual (be that a cop or a civilian) that he isn’t going to react. He will do his job. He will protect the citizens of our community as well as his fellow brother’s in blue. But he uses his words first to diffuse a situation and it usually works well that way. 

I understand that there are cops who do not work this way. There are cops who are unbearably racist, who hide behind their badge and the PBA. I hate what those cops do. I hate that they turn the public against good, well-meaning officers. I hate that the good, honest cops have to then work twice as hard because the public views them as the enemy even though they have done nothing to deserve it, just like the victims of the bad apples did nothing to deserve how they were treated. My heart goes out to those victims. I am truly sorry for what they have experienced. 

I still can’t help but think, though, that many (not all) of the people who say “F*** the Cops!” and call them pigs are only saying those things because they are trying to hide something. It’s likely that they had some kind of an encounter with the police because they broke a law and were punished some way or another and now want to blame anyone else but themselves for their actions. 

Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I’m way off base. But this has been my experience with people like that. People who hate another group of people do so usually because of their own problems. 

It’s those people that I lose sleep over because those are the kind of people that kill officers. They exist in all races and economic backgrounds and they are the reasons why officers always have to be cautious and watch their backs. 

I’ll probably get some flack for posting this, Lord knows I got enough of it after posting a comment on that video, but that’s the beauty of being Americans, right? 

So what do you think? And to my fellow cop wives, how do you feel and react when someone refers to your spouse in a demeaning way? 

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THE ANNOUNCEMENT!

So sorry it has been so long… We have had a crazy month and a half or so! We not only went on vacation last month but we also had birthday parties every single weekend, including Tootsie’s big 2nd birthday! Life was crazy and blogging was not on the priority list, especially since I couldn’t talk about what I really wanted to talk about… 

 

My last post, I told you all that we have a surprise in the works and here it is…

 

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YAY! Baby number 2!!! 🙂 We are so excited to share this news. We are blessed beyond words and cannot wait to meet him or her spring 2014! 

 

One of the biggest reasons why I was so excited about blogging throughout this pregnancy is because we are planning a home birth VBAC. I am SO passionate about this subject and I think it will be great to use the blog as a way of connecting with other moms who have gone through/are going through a similar situation. VBAC is not a common topic, usually, so I’m excited to begin this journey. 

 

I’ll still be talking about life as a police family, so no worries to my fellow cop wives without kids, it won’t all be about the babies. 😉 

Big Changes…Coming Soon!

So I have a few things to talk about today, the first of which being that hubby and I received some really awesome news about two weeks ago. We aren’t quite ready to share with everyone what that is, but it will bring big changes to our family and we are so excited!

Now that I have given you a bit of a teaser, onto the next topic: honor guard. My husband’s department decided about a month and a half ago that they wanted to get an honor guard team together and my husband quickly jumped at the idea to be apart of it. I, on the other hand, was not as thrilled. At first, I thought this was great news because I assumed that all of the practices would either mean overtime or comp’d time elsewhere in his schedule…yeah. Not quite. They have practices multiple times a week, some on his work days and some on his days off. Either way, the practices are always from 4-8pm. They have been practicing for about a month and a half now and not once has he gotten off early or been paid for his time.

I know, I know. He’s the rookie and he needs to do this kind of thing to help his reputation within the department. Still, it doesn’t make for a very happy wife or daughter. Today, for instance, Tootsie didn’t get to see him at all. He got home before she was awake, woke up while she was down for a nap, and left before she had woken up. This BREAKS. MY. HEART. Ugh. She is such a daddy’s girl. If he isn’t home, she walks around the house calling his name and looking for him.

Luckily, the crazy practice schedule is almost done. The whole point was so that they would learn the routines, video tape them, and then would basically just be “on call” in case their department, or other surrounding departments, needed them. And after attending Sgt. Wilson’s funeral last weekend (I’ll write a post on that soon…), I can certainly appreciate the work they’re doing. It is definitely something that the department should have and it is an awesome opportunity for my hubs, it is just a bit frustrating for the time being because Toots and I are together all the time with no breaks.

This brings me to the third and last topic that I want to touch on today…Motherhood. I think it is safe to say that the vast majority of us mommies are just doing our best. We are doing what we feel is best and works for our own family and our own situation. It was unintentionally brought to my attention that certain people we know have quietly been judging the way that I feed my family and that we aren’t “true” to the paleo lifestyle. Here’s the thing: we do the very best that we can. We don’t have a whole lot of money (cops aren’t exactly known for having wonderful salaries and I am blessed to be able to stay at home with Toots) but we do what we can with what we have. We may sacrifice in one area so that we can indulge in another area. Either way you look at it, we eat DRASTICALLY different than we did when we were in college. We have eliminated 95% of processed grains and sugars from our diet. Do we eat 100% organic and grass-fed food? No. We don’t. We can’t afford it. Do we buy the best quality that our budget will allow? Yes, we do. Do I bake with almond flour and coconut flour? Yes, I do. Tootsie is not one of those kids that likes vegetables and if I were to give her fruit every time she asks for something to eat, we would literally go broke. This kid eats all the time. Literally. All the time. So yes, I try to fill her up with muffins with fruit in them or “paleo bread” or mini blueberry almond flour pancakes. SO WHAT?! She’s my kid. It’s our diet, not yours. Deal.

Mommas, please lets stop this whole “mommy wars” bull. No one is a perfect parent. We all do the best we can with what we have. So, lets all shut up and hug each other. Lets support each other and listen to one another. Lets stop talking about what Betty feeds her children and what Suzy doesn’t. Lets mind our own business and worry about our own families.

Can I get an amen?! 😉

Sorry for the long post…I hadn’t written in a while.

An End of Watch…

I have struggled all day with the thought of writing this post because it is still very raw. Last night, a deputy in a town nearby lost his life in the line of duty. Neither my husband, nor myself knew this deputy but that only slightly lessens the heaviness in our hearts. As a law enforcement family, the loss of this deputy is a hard one to accept and come to terms with. My husband worked the same shift as this deputy. He put on a similar uniform at around the same time this deputy put his on yesterday. He probably kissed his wife and kids goodbye around the same time my husband kissed my daughter and me goodbye. He got in his squad car probably around the same time as my husband did. And yet, unlike my husband, he didn’t get to make it home this morning. His wife didn’t hear the comforting sound of the garage door sliding open. She didn’t hear the sound of her velcro alarm clock as her husband removed his vest. She didn’t experience the comfort of her husbands body sliding between the sheets after a long nights work. She didn’t get to experience any of that because she was already awake facing the hardest reality that any law enforcement wife can face- her husband’s End of Watch.

I cannot even begin to understand what this woman or her family is going through. I cannot imagine having to comfort my children through their sobs after telling them that Daddy is never coming home. I cannot imagine the first holiday, the first birthday, the first anniversary spent alone without her partner by her side. My heart aches for this family and all that I can say to them is that I praying for their peace and comfort. May God wrap them in his arms and hold them through this time of unimaginable sorrow and may their Blue Line family embrace and protect them. May they take comfort in the fact that their Husband, Father, Son, Brother died a hero who fought for 21 years to make his community a safer place to live.

Thank you, Cpl. Wilson, for your dedication and service and may you rest in peace knowing that your fellow brothers in blue will take it from here.

Fellow LEO Wives, let’s all hug our husbands a little longer tonight/tomorrow morning and be thankful they were able to make it home.

New Chapters

So, we bit the bullet! Hubby and I sold and traded in both of our cars and, since Hubs is able to drive his squad car to and from work, we bought a family SUV! We have talked about it for months now and we finally landed on two options: a Dodge Ram and a Chevrolet Traverse. We opted for the Traverse because we are hoping to get pregnant with a second little one soon. Can I just say that I LOVE it?! No, seriously. I love it. A lot. There has not been one gosh darn thing that I haven’t liked on this baby!

I researched it and it got 5 out of 5 stars on every crash test rating except for the rollover, in which it got 4 out of 5 stars. For me, safety is key. The added options are nice, but safety and reliability is of utmost importance. Hubs just sold his Chevy and that sucker had 210 k miles on it! So we know Chevrolet makes quality automobiles and we felt very comfortable with this decision. That being said, it has some lovely extras too, including leather seats (uh, hello, we have a toddler and these will be glorious) and an entertainment system (i.e. DVD player and hook ups for games). We are planning on taking a family road trip in a few months and so this will be WONDERFUL for that!

Might I just add that when   your hubby is a police officer, sales people are VERY friendly and accommodating! Ha! No one wants to get pulled over!! 😉

So yay to new chapters! Out with our college cars and in with the family car!

What About The Locks?

Hubby works the night shift (no surprise there since he is a rookie) and I have a very hard time with it. I know there is nothing he can do about it, and I am slowly starting to learn how to cope with this new schedule but we have had to make a few adjustments. We have adjusted Tootsie’s schedule as much as we can without it turning into something unhealthy for her. She goes to sleep a little later than other kids her age and, in turn, wakes up a little later too…this is just what we have to do so that she can see and play with her daddy. She has no issues with her new schedule and it seems to be working pretty well for her.

The issue that we are all having now, though, is that she doesn’t understand that just because she is awake does not mean that Daddy should be awake, too. Since this has always been the norm for her, it is next to impossible to explain it to her in a way she can understand. So, as any child who wants to see their daddy would, she opens our bedroom door and climbs on the bed to wake daddy up even though he just got to sleep 3 hours ago… This is an ongoing struggle with our family. She opens the door, I go get her just as she is waking daddy up, I take her out of the room, she screams and pitches a fit, she plays for a few minutes, then pretty soon I hear the door again and it’s back to the same thing.

I know that you may be thinking, “Duh! Just lock the door!” And yes, you’re right. But you run into a problem when you want a door that can be locked and unlocked from either side you’re on…Those are not easy to find! We want one that will be able to be locked from the inside so that he can lock it and not worry about his sleep being interrupted, but we also want it so that I can unlock it in the event that I would need to get into our room or bathroom. BUT we also want it so that it isn’t an easy lock for Toots to figure out because that would defeat the whole purpose. Did that make sense? I’m pretty sure I am just babbling now…

We’ll figure it out eventually but I wanted to write on here and ask if any of my fellow police wives (or any other momma who has had this issue) wants to share their anecdotes? I know we can’t be the only family out there with this dilemma… 😉

Breakfast Bread and Weight Loss

Confession: I still have not lost all the weight I gained while pregnant with Tootsie. AH. I hate saying that out loud. I was not healthy during my pregnancy with Tootsie. Eh, I shouldn’t say not healthy, but I definitely had many unhealthy habits. “Oh, it’s okay to eat this second ice cream sandwich…I’m eating for two, remember?” It wasn’t until Tootsie was starting on solids that I really started to reevaluate what I thought was important in terms of nutrition. It was definitely not an easy concept for me, because I truly believed that, aside from my occasional sweet treat, I was doing everything “right” and still the weight remained. I exercised, ate whole grains and veggies, but still the weight remained. It wasn’t until we turned to Paleo a few months ago that I have seen a steady decline whenever I step on the scale.

Even though I am on my way, and closer than ever, to my pre-pregnancy weight, I still often get discouraged. I was giving myself a pep-talk the other day when I realized, though, that I am down about 13 pounds from where I was at this time last year. SO, even though it has been slow and I often feel like I’m failing, I need to remember that this is a process. Changing your lifestyle is a process. It isn’t going to happen overnight.

This breakfast bread has helped me immensely as of late because I can whip it up in under two minutes, pop it in the oven, change Tootsie’s diaper, get her a fresh sippy and start my coffee and by the time I do all of that, it’s done! Fantastic! Tootsie gobbles this stuff up!! She then follows me around until snack time saying “Some? Some?” (her way of asking for food, and more specifically, this breakfast bread).

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Top it with your favorite fruit and you’ve got yourself a quick and easy breakfast! 🙂

So, without further delay, here is the recipe:

1/2 c. of almond butter (or any other nut butter)

2 Eggs

1 T of Almond Milk (unsweetened)

 2 T of Honey or Maple Syrup

1 T of Baking Soda

and 1/4 each of salt and baking soda

Mix all of the ingredients in a bowl and pour into a small baking dish (I have used a silicone 9 inch round pan as well as a 9×7 and both have turned out well) and bake it at 325 degrees for 10-12 minutes and you’re set!

Hubby likes this as well, but he tops his with maple syrup. He says it tastes like a pancake, so he should eat it like a pancake. 😉

Toddlerhood Woes…

So, Tootsie is two days shy of being 22 months old (ever so close to those terrible twos) and while I absolutely love this age and all the wonders that accompany it, it is also completely exhausting! My sweet little lady has a heart of gold! I promise! She loves her mommy and daddy so very much and loves playing with her little cousins and friends. She shares and gives hugs and kisses. She is absolutely wonderful! However, she DOES NOT LISTEN TO SAVE HER LIFE. I swear I repeat the same things 25 times per day… “Don’t bring your chair into the kitchen, you could fall on the tile and get hurt… don’t stand on the table (yes, you read that right)… stop taking everything out of that drawer… stop trying to get the coffee pot… stop standing on top of Sui… don’t open the closet to the trash can, which inevitably is followed by, don’t play in the trash can there are germs in there that could make you sick… FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY STOP TAKING ALL OF THE DVDs OUT OF THE DRAWER AND SCATTERING THEM ALL OVER THE LIVING ROOM!!! Can you tell which one I just got done saying? 😉 It is completely overwhelming some days.

I know other stay-at-home-moms can feel this way sometimes, too. I know that it makes sense and that no matter what job you have (even if that job is staying home) there will be days you don’t like your job, but that still doesn’t make me feel any less guilty on days like this. My hubby works SO hard so that I can stay home with our daughter and I know that I am so blessed that I get to, but I can’t help but dislike my ‘job’ some days. Tootsie had a very hard time listening today and Hubs was doing some work outside, then he had to work so I didn’t get any kind of break today. This is pretty typical on days that he works and usually I am okay with it. It’s just that today I was feeling overwhelmed from the get-go, then Tootsie’s nap was pushed back, so when she finally did get down for her nap I walked into our bedroom for a bit of peace and quiet, only to discover that she had smeared her snack all over our bedding, including in between the sheets.

And this is when I started crying. I hate that I am one of those girls that cries when I get overwhelmed, but alas, I am. My sweet hubs heard me sniffling from the other room and came in to see why I had sudden onset sniffle-itis. When I talked to him about it, I felt like I had to keep repeating that I really am thankful that I get to stay home. I also told him that I felt guilty even talking to him about it because money is tight and I don’t work, so to complain about staying at home felt like I was giving him a verbal slap in the face. He, being the ever understand fella he is, reassured me that I am valid in my emotions and that he would rather I talk to him about it than just bottle it up. As always, I felt much better after I spoke with him. Then we changed the sheets and all was well with the world again.

Oh well! We’ll have a good night’s sleep and have a better day tomorrow! 🙂

What about you? Are there any other stay at home mommas who feel completely overwhelmed some days?

Pinterest Fail…

Have you ever had a project/recipe/idea that you’ve seen on Pinterest that you were so excited about but then when you tried it, it was a complete bust? Chances are, if you have been on Pinterest long, this has happened to you. It happened again to me today. I was SO excited to try this paleo blueberry loaf but I waited to make it until our anniversary so that we would have a  new, special breakfast to try. Yeah, bad idea. The concept sounded delicious but the actual finished product was so bland it was a waste of some perfectly good blueberries. Oh well. Live and learn…

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At least it looks pretty, right? 😉

4 Years

Four years ago, Hubs and I promised to love, honor, and cherish each other throughout everything and anything that life may throw our way. Some days it feels like we’ve been married for 50 years and other days it seems like it was only yesterday when we sealed our promise with a kiss.

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I would not trade the last four years for anything. My husband is the most  loving, loyal, and kind man that I have ever known. He is the reason that I make it through the hard days and he is my fun on the joyous ones. I am so blessed to be able to share my life with him and we are blessed to be able to share our lives with our daughter.

So here’s to you, babe! I love you so much and am so excited to see where life takes us!